Episode 2 - Oh Crap, Grandpa!
From FaBWiki
Original Broadcast Date June 20th 2008
Runtime:
Cast
Benjamin Carignan as The Narrator, Pippi's Mom, Singing Monkey, and Aligator/Rhino
lewahi as Starman Junior and Police Officer.
Transcript
Ben: This is...
Ben and Stephen:LLOYDS ARE NOT CHRISTMAS...
Stephen: 2!
Ben:Episode 2...
Various fanfare from all cast members
Stephen: I will break it all to peices!
Narrator: Last time, on Loid's are not Christmas, Ninten ventured around the city of Podunk, gave a bird to a bird, and rescued a girl. He is now at his mom's...er... her mom's house...and stuff.
(Select a file music plays)
Ben: That's... not it.
(FaB theme plays)
All: LOIDS ARE NAWT CHRISTMAS!!!
Stephen: OVER IN JAPAN!
Muhhamad: Loids are not christmas!
(Hippie battle theme plays then cuts to Pollyanna)
Ninten: That was my jam box!
Pippi's mom: Oh, Ninten! You have rescued my baby girl!
Pippi:Okay, alright... um, thanks. Um... Well, Ninten, it was really fun hangin' out with you here, today. Um, and, uh....
Ninten: This is like deja vu!
Pippi:.......yeah. So, um... I dunno how to tell you this but...uh...uh... I think you're a pretty cool boy, and um... and uh... I thought I'd like you to have this very small one inch round plain ole badge, if you'd take it...
Pippi's mom: You forgot the first thing, there Pippi...
Pippi:................................................oh yeah. Um...no.
Pippi's mom: Oh...
Ninten: No, I have seen the future and you are supposed to make out with me!
Pippi: No. No no no. I think that's... no, please... please just take it.
Pippi's mom: Alright, no making out here today. Just go on with what you're doin'.
Ninten: Ima take this badge, and take it down to Dick's pawn shop, to pawn it off for some money to buy a... potato...
Pippi: Alright... Put the camera away mom.
Pippi's mom: Oh, fine.
Pippi: Alright.
Police Officer: Heey... hey, are you Ninten, boy?
Ninten: Yes, Mr. Po-lice officer...
Police officer: Yeah, that's right, see? I'm from the mayor, and the mayor wanted me to thank you for helping him in the election by rescuing Pippi so just take this zoo pass and get on your way.
Ninten: Okay.........
Police officer: See you later, mon.
Ninten: I will.... bye.... shut up. HA I totally got him to shut up! Hahaha! Oh, god!
Police officer: I will kill you.
Ninten: Okay, sure, okay, bye. All right, well, um.... guess I'm at the zoo. ........I think.
Monkey: Kikakikokokokikiko!
Ninten: Oh, god, it's me from another series!
Monkey: Koko.... ko...
Ninten: I think it's gonna steal my pass.
Monkey: Kikikiko...kokoko (I'm stealing your stuff) Kikikiko!
Ninten: Oh, my god, the monkey talked to me; I must be on LSD. Animals are everywhere! Oh... crap!
(Battle music)
Animal: Bwaaaaaarrrrggghaaaaaaarrrgh! This is the battle music! Bwaaaarrgh!
Ninten: Oh, gosh, if I could only..... see with my eyes, I would know what animal it is that's attacking me!
Animal: Bwaaaaaa-I'm a rhinocerus! Actually, an alligator! Not a rhinocerus, an alligator!
Ninten: Oh, it's a good thing that.... it can talk. Oh, Imma use dwi--I don't know if I have pyschic powers.
Alligator: Nope!
Ninten: Okay, well I'mma punch him..... with my hand.
Alligator: Aaaaarrrrrrgh!
(Battle win music)
Ninten: God, I'm awesome.
(Game over music)
Alligator: Urp! You didn't die; I did. This is my game over musiiiic! ACK! URP! ACK! I'm dead.
Ninten: Oh, I'm sorry. Can you... can you restart from the nearest save point?
Alligator: Maybe, but I'll be okay. Later, dude.
(Pollyanna music)
Ninten: Bye, mister rhinocerus.
Alligator: I was an alligator.
Ninten: Whatever. Okay, so let's see-- um, that looks like a management building! Let's go in it.
(creepy music)
Ninten: Okay, well! ...this is a building. .......I love it.
Starman Jr: Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Ninten: Oh crap, Grandpa!
Starman Jr: Hissss.... Hello there...
Ninten: Grandpa! Why are you here?
Starman Jr: Don't be silly; I'm not your grandfather, you stupid child.
Ninten: OH!
Starman Jr: Yeah.
Ninten: Okay, well, if you wanna fight me, we can do that because I do that a lot. I just fought an animal; it's probably against the law.
(Battle music)
Starman Jr: Yeah, it probably is. Kssh! Anyway, you're going to die! PSI BEAM ALPHA!
Ninten: OH CRAP!
Starman Jr: Oh, it reflected off your Franklin Badge! I'm dead!
(Battle win music)
Ninten: Yeah! Sweet! I'm so glad that I didn't quite make it to Dick's Pawn Shop.
(Pollyanna music)
Ninten: Well... oh god, it's a monkey! It's that monkey, again! Look, it's the monkey!
Monkey: Kikikikokoko (Thanks, you killed the dude, that was, like, a pill.) Kikiko (I don't like pills. Imma sing for you now.) (Third melody: KIKIKIKOKO!!!) (That's it.)
Ninten: That was.. that was pretty....... horrible.... for a monkey. Yeah, that was bad.
Monkey: *sadly* Kikikokokooo...
Ninten: I mean, I honestly wish I had a GUN. I'd.... I'd friggin' SHOOT you. Okay, I got the melody!
Monkey: (You guys are so mean!) Kokokokokoko....
Ninten: Here I go, onto the.... whatever. Immma wander around aimlessly. I..... look, a roadblock!
Police officer: You! You have.... done stuff! And me and my friend, "Cop," here, we're gonna let you through.
Ninten: Your friend's name is "Cop?" That's awesome!
Police officer: Yeah. Well... whatcha gotta say about THAT?
Ninten: I have a friend named "Bill!"
Police officer: .....I don't think you do.
Ninten: Yeah, I made him up.
Police officer: Yeah, I think you did.
Ninten: I'm gonna leave you..
Cop: Right.
Police officer: That was a really good kid, Cop.
Cop: Yeah, he was... he was okay.
Ninten: I can still hear you talking about me.
Police officer: He sucked.
Cop: All right, bye, kid.
Ninten: Hey, look! It's a cave!
(cave music)
Ninten: The music is kinda creepy. I prolly wanna leave, but... in order to progress the storyline, I should probably continue through. There's water............ in my..... pocket.
(Magicant music)
Ninten: Okay, I'm in.... Cloudland! Wheee! This was like the time I fell and hit my head... everyday. Okay, well, the sign says "Magicant," so that's probably where I am. So.... there's a big castle with--that looks like a seashell. And that's where... I would like to be. Let's go!
(door sound)
(Chaos Theater music)
Jeff: Why do we keep watching this movie, guys?
Paula: I.... I don't know. I do not know.
Poo: I find it kind of interesting, actually!
Jeff: I..... was it really worth going out and getting the fixed VHS?
Poo: Yes!
Paula: I wanted to see Wall-E, okay? But, Ness was all like, "No, you guys, this is really cool," so.... we're watching this.
Ness: Honestly, I don't know why we're still using VHS. What the heck is wrong with you people? I mean, everything's available on DVD.
Jeff: Do you not understand that this movie is not good enough to be released on DVD?
Ness: Hmm... have you tried the internet?
Paula: Have we tried the internet?
Ness: I mean, you can find everything on the internet. I mean...
Poo: What is the "internet?"
Paula: *sigh* Never mind, Poo.
Poo: Okay...
(Select a File music)
Narrator: And so, stuff happened again this week, and the Narrator-- me-- cut off the episode. Because that's how we roll! Hopefully, the Chosen Four will keep watching this movie eventually, and it won't suck quite as bad. Another next time on...
(FaB outro music)
Narrator: Loids are not Christmas, and this song isn't even in that game!
Martin: Um..... yeah.
Muhhamad: No, it isn't.
Stephen: Nope.
Martin: That was... that was totally random, Ben, to take my bow. And you just stopped the episode.
Stephen: Oh crap, Grandpa!
Everyone laughs
Ben: Man, I thought you were gonna make your "(???)" joke again, you know, 'cause I was ready.
Stephen: You were ready?
Ben: I was ready!
Stephen: The same jokes twice?
Ben: Yeah, but no one heard it the first time!
Stephen: Oh, really?
Ben: Yes!
Stephen: No one's gonna get that except, like, Melcat.
Ben: Well... like, I get it. Vaguely.
Stephen: Okay.
Muhhamad: I was pumped for the continuation through Magicant, but then you just ruined it, boy.
Ben: Well, I'm sorry, but we need to save some for next time!
Martin: But, no, Ben, it was part one out of two of TWO. There was only two parts, so we can't do it again, now.
Ben: Yes, we can.
Stephen: Apparently, Loids are not Christmas is, like, a twelve-part series, so it would be, like, one season.
Ben: I lived about--- I lived about all that.
Muhhamad: He lived!
Stephen: He's progressed through the game pretty fast, though.
Ben: No.
Muhhamad: We did much better this time.
Ben: And we're almost farther than you.
Muhhamad: Almost farther than him. Yeah, that's right, because Stephen has not gotten past Magicant.
(Animal Crossing music)
Martin: Yeah.
Stephen: You're lucky that I knew that Magicant had seashells.
Everyone laughs
Stephen: 'Cause everything past this point, I am completely in the dark about! I'm just gonna be like, "Wow! Is that a shoe?" and someone will be like, "No."
Ben: No?
Everyone laughs
Muhhamad: Probably.
